Sitting on Pins and Needles

Dearest Dema,

We have been up and down again these past few days. We got the paper in that was needed, only to hear a few days later that we again had our paperwork thrown out because the notary had gotten married and her name had changed between the first November date and now. So we were a little worried that everything was going to get thrown out for a while and we would have had to start over. But, we were lucky!

I got an email yesterday saying that the paperwork went through - everything was accepted and we should be hearing within a day or two! Yea! Now I have to go panic again and start getting your room ready. We purchased a bookcase and dresser for your room but haven’t really decided what to do about the beds yet. I think for the short term, while we are here in Utah, that we will just have you use the two twin beds. I think then that we will put those in a guest room once we move, and we will give you our bedroom set. The one that daddy John and I use is almost brand new, we got it just a year ago, but we don’t like it that much. The bed is too low for us, so I think we will give you that one and just get a new one for ourselves. We had initially thought of giving you G4’s bed but he doesn’t have a dresser and this one we have has two matching nightstands and a dresser that matches. So, much to decide! But we want to wait for you to get here to make a lot of these decisions. IF YOU EVER GET HERE! I guess I am getting a little impatient and want you here already like yesterday!

But we are getting closer - day by day. I am feeling pretty good about it now - I just feel like we will be traveling over there the second or third week of April.

Bye for now, but hopefully not for long!

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

We don't live in a cardboard box - Honest!

Dearest Dema,

In this crazy upside down world that adoption is - I have been in a high high and a low low all in the same day. The day started off promising enough - the first two families from North Carolina that participated in a similar hosting program heard about a travel date. They submitted their paperwork a week or so before ours. So I was at the calendar in a flash to count out seven days so that I knew exactly when we would be notified of a travel date for you.

Then came the disappointment. We heard from the adoption facilitator that our dossier had been approved with one minor problem - they wanted a third party verification of our lease even though they had the lease contract and a notarized, apostilled statement from the landlord. ARGHHHHHH! And to further complicate things, if we did not back date the document to November (when we had all the other documents done) we were going to have to resubmit the paperwork all over again with updated dates. So - deep breath - then found out the lady that had notarized all the documents to begin with that worked for Daddy John had just left the company several days previously to start a new job. What are the odds of her backdating a piece of paper for us and notarizing it? At a new job? Just about so small they can’t be counted!

For the first time in all of this I had to struggle back tears. I felt we were so close and then it was snatched away. I truly felt that we would not get to you until you were 22! Then luck shined on us - Daddy John got in contact with Melanie at her new job and she agreed to do it if we could meet her between 12:45 and 12:50. Then the family you had stayed with a few days before coming to us just so happens that the mom is a real estate agent and was willing to help out.

So in the end, everything worked out. We got the paper done, signed and in the mail. It should be in Ukraine in several days and everything should be back on target. We hope to be traveling by the middle of April!

Can’t wait to see you,

Love,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

Still Waiting

Dearest Dema,

Well, even though we haven’t heard about a travel date yet, I still feel positive about moving forward to get you. We had a long Skype call with Alex yesterday evening and he said that he would try to call you. It might be easier for him to get in touch with you than for us. I told him that I want you to know we will be coming in April or May. I am sure that it will be a shock for you - here we have been working so hard and constantly praying for things to move along - so it will not be a surprise for us to finally see you. But I can imagine it might be a nasty shock for us to show up and you to realize that you will be leaving all things familiar.

This point is especially concerning to me, I actually lay awake thinking about it at night! I worry that you might not want to come with us. You will be leaving friends, a familiar place, your country and your language to come live with virtual strangers. I worry about how to convince you that it will be ok, that we will love you and give you all the benefits of a loving family life. You will find friends and make a future with us as your back up whether it is here or back in Ukraine, but this is going to be hard for you to understand. And I am sure that it will be hard even when you get here and you are lonely or frustrated.

I have joined several email groups about adopting older children in an effort to try to understand everything you will be going through or possibly facing while with us. I want to anticipate every possible scenario so that I can help guide you through it, but I sometimes get overwhelmed with this. I don’t know you yet, so how can I predict what you will be feeling or how you will react? 

All I do know is that all of us are desperate to have you a part of our family. We talk about you at least once a day and have planned out trips and things to take you to. I am afraid you will be a little frazzled with everything we want to show you! I know that one day, we both will look back on this and laugh, but for now, I am obsessed with making sure you have a smooth as possible transition to our family. I know that you will enrich our family no end. We are all looking forward to the new family you will help us create.

So, here I am counting the hours as they pass too slowly to hear back from the Ukrainian government and passing the time worrying about you.

Love always,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

Time to Worry

Dearest Dema,

Well, even though we haven’t heard about a travel date yet, I still feel positive about moving forward to get you. We had a long Skype call with Alex yesterday evening and he said that he would try to call you. It might be easier for him to get in touch with you than for us. I told him that I want you to know we will be coming in April or May. I am sure that it will be a shock for you - here we have been working so hard and constantly praying for things to move along - so it will not be a surprise for us to finally see you. But I can imagine it might be a nasty shock for us to show up and you to realize that you will be leaving all things familiar.

This point is especially concerning to me, I actually lay awake thinking about it at night! I worry that you might not want to come with us. You will be leaving friends, a familiar place, your country and your language to come live with virtual strangers. I worry about how to convince you that it will be ok, that we will love you and give you all the benefits of a loving family life. You will find friends and make a future with us as your back up whether it is here or back in Ukraine, but this is going to be hard for you to understand. And I am sure that it will be hard even when you get here and you are lonely or frustrated.

I have joined several email groups about adopting older children in an effort to try to understand everything you will be going through or possibly facing while with us. I want to anticipate every possible scenario so that I can help guide you through it, but I sometimes get overwhelmed with this. I don’t know you yet, so how can I predict what you will be feeling or how you will react? 

All I do know is that all of us are desperate to have you a part of our family. We talk about you at least once a day and have planned out trips and things to take you to. I am afraid you will be a little frazzled with everything we want to show you! I know that one day, we both will look back on this and laugh, but for now, I am obsessed with making sure you have a smooth as possible transition to our family. I know that you will enrich our family no end. We are all looking forward to the new family you will help us create.

So, here I am counting the hours as they pass too slowly to hear back from the Ukrainian government and passing the time worrying about you.

Love always,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

Time to Panic

Dearest Dema,

Well, after a few days of basking in the glow of paperwork sent off - I am starting to feel the itch of concern as we wait. We are still waiting on confirmation of the delivery of the documents, the appointment for submission, and then the date to travel. All of course are out of our hands.

So, to ease the strain, I put together a little party of people that hosted some of your friends from the orphanage this past summer so that everyone could get together an commiserate on their progress on adoptions, or lack thereof. It was a great party - you would have recognized everyone there. It was nice to reconnect with everyone and find out where they were in the process of their adoptions. But it had one unintended consequence, I got freaked out! I realized that we were the furthest along of anyone and that really there was not a lot of time before you came. A few months at most. I wasn’t any closer on learning Russian, your room was only half set up, and I hadn’t started cleaning out closet space for you.

This has served to kick me into high gear as I am motivated now to get everything ready. I promise that things will be ready for you. I want to make things as nice as possible for when you arrive. I know that you will want to put your own touches on the room, but I want to feel that you have everything you need to start off with.

So, off to start getting things ready for you!

Love,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

The Paperwork is Done

Dearest Dema,

Well, I have great news! We finally got the papers sent off to Ukraine last week. It was a little frustrating at the end with all of the changes to the documents that were needed. We had everything ready to go in November, but the immigration letter was late. Well, since the next appointment date flipped over into a new year, there were a lot of changes that had to occur. Then the adoption department changed in the government  in Ukraine. Not really anything changed except the letterhead on the documents. But it was enough to cause half of the documents to be redone. Then the medical forms were changed and then there was a new form, and then they needed duplicates of the interpol forms, and yada, yada, yada. It seemed never-ending when we were only one form away before.

But we persevered through the documents and they were sent off at last. Now everyone says is the hard part of waiting, but I think the hard part was actually the documents. The waiting I can fill with getting your room ready, buying you clothes, and figuring out how to teach you. I can also fill it with worry about whether you still want to come home with us, whether you will truly integrate into our family, and how long it will take you to learn English. I can go on and on about the worries I have, but as you can see, I am at no loss to fill my time with things while we wait.

We have 10 days until we hear about an appointment. Victoria is going to try to call you again. She tried around your birthday - we desperately wanted to get to you by your birthday - but that didn't work out. But hopefully, she can get in touch with you to let you know about the paperwork being on its way.

Love as always,

Bethany, Amanda, G3, & G4

Merry Christmas

Dearest Dema,

Merry Christmas! We wish you were here to celebrate with us. All day today as we have been opening presents, we have been thinking about what it is going to be like for you next year. Will you understand what we are doing? How good will your english be by then? Will you understand our prank gifts? How will we keep gifts a secret from you? So prepare to be surprised.

We have to get back on the paperwork for you. While the last month was going by, Ukraine decided to change the name of the adoption agency, so we get to go redo all the paperwork with new titles on it! And several other forms need to be changed as well. So, once I get Christmas stuff put away, I will get to work on the forms. My goal is to get it off by the 15th of January. We have an appointment to submit the paperwork to Kiev on February 14th - Valentines Day - I thought that was special!

Oh, I heard from the family that hosted Sergiey. They are trying to adopt him and his little brother Max. I am sure he will be happy when he hears the news - they have had a lot of problems trying to get in touch with him also. Anyway, we still miss you and can't wait. Hopefully time will fly by and you will be with us before you know it.

Love,

Bethany, Amanda, G3, & G4