We finally decided yesterday that despite all of Alex's protestations that he did not need translating help, that there were some things that just needed to be communicated and couldn't wait for him to learn English. One of these issues revolves around his teeth and the other is our upcoming move.
So, we invited a neighbor over last night who speaks Russian and she graciously translated for us. There is going to be major dental work going on, starting with all 4 wisdom teeth. The top ones are growing near his sinuses and the bottom ones are starting to get near the nerve - so these need to go in the next few weeks. Then there is a tooth which its viability is in question, that might need to go and be replaced with an implant - and then of course there are braces. But I didn't want him to be scared about all of this and to understand that we would not let him be in pain. So I think it was good that he understood. I really think he knew most of this anyway from talking to me - but with the help of a native Russian speaker - I think he will be more confident about what is going on.
We then moved on to our move. While he is still resistant to the idea, he did say it would be fun to move around and experience new places. He is so resilient and amicable - I am amazed at times. I think understanding things a little better, gave him the ability to deal with the move better. He was smiling through the whole conversation and was joking around. I think he is in a good place regarding the move. We told him he could personalize his room when we move and he was excited about that. He wants to paint graffiti on the walls and ceiling. We said ok as long as we can ok the design first.
There was a little kerfuffle about an earring. He wants his to get an earring (and I think he would look darling with one) but G3 has appropriately said this is something that needs to be earned over time. He has tentatively said 16th birthday. G3 also pointed out that with an earring we would be having even more trouble with girls chasing him than we already have! Alex was a little put out, but I think understood that we meant it. We also had to communicate that there was some music that he listened to that was inappropriate. There have been 2 songs that we have nixed out of all the rap music he listens to. He made some snide comment that it was because we were old!!!! We fussed at him about that one - but were able to get the point across that when racial slurs come into songs - that is where we draw the line. I am even getting into rap and starting to enjoy it! We made sure to tell him that he was lucky to have us as parents - as a lot of parents would not tolerate any of the music he likes.
It was a great talk - I felt like he is starting to push back against some of our controls and I am glad to see it. We are pretty permissive overall, but when we have limits, they are in stone. But seeing him push against them shows me that he is confident in our love for him. He is starting to realize that we are there always and he does not need to treat us special for fear of losing us. I love how comfortable he is with us now. I know this is a long process that will take years, but so far - I can feel it starting and it is so rewarding to feel.
Right now we are in kickboxing class and I am watching him die from exhaustion! Amanda is at her TKD studio again and then we are going over to a friend's house to let Alex visit and relax. More later...
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