All Good things come to an end!

I have decided that this will be my last post. With the upcoming move next month and everything else going on, I just don't have time like I used to to write. I have also decided to concentrate on my next book (which is half done!) and try to get it finished.

We have been so blessed on this whole journey. I can't believe that the hosting program is starting again this week. To think, a year ago we were worried about whether or not Alex would want to stay with us for a little bit, much less even want to become a part of this family. As I think back on the events of the past year - I realize how far we have come. From the paper work to the trip to Ukraine and then coming back home, it is been incredible. I was looking at Alex last night as he was standing in the kitchen talking to G3 and realized that we are really a true family now. He is integrated - there are problems, there are frustrations, and there are still issues to work on, but as I was watching them, I saw how comfortable everyone was.

For everyone out there reading, I want to just catalogue some of the changes that have occurred to make us a family.
1. Alex now routinely chooses to sit at the dinner table with the rest of the family. He will get his plate of food and plops down at the table without thinking about it. If you remember from earlier posts - this was not always the case.
2. Alex comes out of his room more to interact with the rest of the family and seeks out G3 actively when he is home to talk to.
3. He routinely asks about the plan of the day and is getting used to the things we do.
4. He has stopped asking incessantly if I love him - he might ask every once in a while - but for the most part - it is only every once in a while. I hope this means he is more sure of my love for him.
5. Alex is actively talking about the future - something he never did when he came here. He talks about getting his driver's license some day, getting a job, and life as an adult. I remember when life was only for the moment for him and he even mentioned to me once that he never thought he would get a future. He is actively thinking about the move to Seattle and learning a new place.
6. He is starting to suggest things for the family to do together. A few nights ago, he asked to watch Ice Age with everyone. This is a big step, as he usually preferred to do things with just me in the past. It is still mostly that way, but definitely improving.

We still have things to work on:
1. Lack of interest in school work
2. Still holding himself aloof at times
3. Messiness
4. Reluctance to do some things with the family

However, for the most part, these are things that most teens struggle with. I am happy to say that a lot of these issues are normal teen things and do not feel like we are dealing with adoptive issues per se. I know that there will still be things that come up, but we feel like a family unit. I feel like I have 3 children, all the same, that need to be taken care of.

When I think of all the changes for us and him this past year, I can't help but feel overwhelmed at times. We have spent a lot of time and money completing our family, planning a move, Amanda's black belt and competition, G4's transfer applications, and a long trip to Ukraine. Alex had his first trip to America, got offered a family, had to wait, go to court and renounce all he has ever known, come back to America, and be immersed in an English only environment, and learn how to be in a family. WOW! And we all have come through this stronger, tougher, more resilient, and still with a sense of humor and a lot of love. We are a great family (no bragging here :) and I am proud of all of us and what this year has brought us. We are a complete family now and I am so happy!

A few final notes - these kids that are adopted need so much love. They are like little sponges soaking up everything you give them and then needing more. I was talking to G3 a couple of days ago and I came up with the perfect summation. You can't love them enough, treat them nice enough, think about them enough, give them enough. There is no way that you can make up for what they went through before they came to you - all you can do is try. Alex humbles me in that he still has the capacity for love and affection after everything. I don't know if he will ever let me in totally, but the little he has offered so far feeds my soul. There isn't enough you can do in the understanding and empathy department - but they can sense you are trying, and that seems like enough.

Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Writing this has been very cathartic for me! I appreciate all the support I have received. I would love to keep in touch - please leave a comment and I will email my contact info.