Day 21: A New Son - ours officially!

Dearest Alex,

OMG - there is so much to report on today. I know this will be all a review for you, but I know there are many other people waiting to here the results so I will spell it all out in detail.

We woke early and made sure everyone was spic and span. G3 had his best suit, I was in a nice outfit, and Amanda had a skirt on (unbelievable for her!) We went to breakfast and decided there that Amanda should stay at the hotel. No one had said she had to, but she on her own volunteered. I think it worked out for the best as you will see, but I also wanted this to be your special moment. This is the day we have been working so hard for, for so long and I want you to be able to savor it without any distractions to our attentions. It is all about you today Alex!

We were eating breakfast at the hotel restaurant, although frankly, I was too nervous to eat, when in walks Sasha. He said that he had talked to the judge and he would be amenable to waiving the 10 day waiting period. We were so happy as we had heard this hardly ever happens. But I guess there were some extenuating circumstances. There are several days of holidays coming up and and the weekend, so even though the waiting period can be waived, it still can’t take effect until a workday. Then there is my lovely condition which obviously needs medical attention soon (if you could see the black and blue colors today!) 

So we go to the court building, feeling very good about the process. Sasha is telling us there is nothing to worry about. He says the judge doesn’t even need you to come to court and that it will be a short process in the judge’s chambers. Then about 10 minutes later he comes up and says, “Well, the judge wants to see Dima, but no big deal.” Then about 10 minutes later, “Well it is in the main hall, but still no big deal.” G3 and I were a little concerned but we were still calm and collected.

Then you arrived with the orphanage staff and after a little wait, we were ushered into the main courtroom, vintage 1950’s. There was even a little caged area with bars in which criminals sit during their trial. Here is where it started to go downhill. The prosecutor was a young woman, who was obviously having a bad day and decided to take it out on us! She started talking very loudly and waving papers at Sasha. At first, he was calm, but started to get more and more agitated as time went on. Then he turned to me and asked, “Do you have anything that shows your income?” I was floored. I basically am a housewife - I know I have written a book and that it is selling pretty well - about 500 copies so far in two months since it was published - but this by no means is a windfall. I don’t even make enough to pay for gas! And on our tax returns, we show me as losing money (we look it as a small private business) and I haven’t sold enough yet to break even. I hope I will, but my main concern is the children.

So, we replied, no there isn’t anything I can show. Besides, in the dossier there was no mention of anything about my income - it was just ensuring that the family had enough money for another child - not who made it. And we didn’t even include my earnings in the dossier as the book wasn’t even published until March. Then the prosecutor starts waving a manual at Sasha and in his face and pointing to it. They were escalating this whole conversation going back and forth with Sasha asking questions every few minutes of us trying to see if we had documentation that proved my income - and we kept saying - NO. I couldn’t understand what was the problem, as G3 makes more than enough.

But this whole conversation was cut short as the judge came in. He started the proceedings with Sasha translating everything along the way as best as he could. We were read our rights, and then asked to stand while we were introduced. Then the orphanage representative gave a history of you and why you were available for us to adopt. The social worker gave an account and I was feeling a little better. I thought maybe this whole thing would go away. Ha, Ha!

Then G3 was asked to stand and give an introduction to himself and why we wanted you. He was asked a few questions (you probably understood this all better that we did) and then it was my turn. I was asked a few of the same questions and then the prosecutor started in on me. She attacked me with the same questions that she had started in on Sasha with. And a side comment - she never looked at us when she talked to us, she looked at Sasha. I didn’t like her before but this solidified the whole thing. The questions were never-ending and kept coming. I couldn’t figure out what this was for. G3 makes plenty and I would have thought they would be interested in me having time with the kids at home - not out working!

I was getting worked up, and I could tell that Sasha was too - he was sweating like crazy. But he kept saying in a very soothing voice, “Don’t worry, it is ok. Everything is fine.” He was fibbing, but he probably knew that I was ready to beat the prosecutor over the head with my crutches. Finally with a flounce and a big sigh, she sat down and said no further questions. I was really left with a feeling that nobody really knew what was going on. 

Then you got a chance to speak, and it was so heart wrenching. I am not sure exactly what you said, maybe someday you will tell us, but as it was translated, it came through as something like you wanted to be part of our family and you wanted to be our son. However you said it though just brought tears to my eyes, and not just me. One of the jurors was crying as well - it was so heart felt. I think everyone in the courtroom except that nasty prosecutor felt it!

Then the psychologist for the orphanage got up and stated that after you met us the first time at the orphanage, you were so happy that we had come for you and that you were worried that something would stop us from taking you home. She really laid it on! She mentioned how hopeful you were to be adopted by us.

Then the time came for everyone to make any statements. I think everyone except The social worker got up and stated that he felt that there was more than enough  money for us to adopt and that he was in support, the orphanage representative said that as well. Then the prosecutor got on her high horse again and was fussing about my book income. Finally, the judge got angry with her and rolled his eyes and stated there was going to be a 10 minute technical break.

At this point, I was freaking out (and so was Sasha) even though he kept saying it is OK. He asked us to get my computer from our hotel room and bring it over. Thank goodness we had left Amanda at the hotel. Vladimir (our driver) went over and got her. I was worried that she wouldn’t answer to door, but she heard him say Sasha and court so she opened it up and quickly got the computer and wifi card. Meanwhile at court, the prosecutor was stalking around and I was freaking out but no one was really doing anything. Finally the juror that was crying, came down and talked to us - and BTW she spoke perfect English. So BEWARE - talk quietly and assume that everyone on court can understand you.

Anyway, she explained that they needed some documents that showed I had some source of income in case G3 and I divorced, so that I could care for the children. Yea, like my book sales could support even a mouse! And that my book was real - not made up! They even wanted a copy of it - but of course with all the remonstrations to pack light - why would I take a copy of my own book? But apparently they needed something. So G3 was able to pull up the website with my sale numbers from Greenleaf publishers on it and then was able to show them the Barnes and Noble and Amazon websites where it was for sale. We showed these to the prosecutor and the juror was talking to her and finally she just huffed away. There was no indication given about what was going to happen.

When the judge came back in, I was still not entirely sure of what was going on. There was a last discussion from all interested parties. Amanda was there sitting next to you by this time and even the orphanage director pointed out how well she and you got along. Everyone was making a very strong case about supporting the adoption, but when the prosecutor got a chance to speak again -she had to bring up the BOOK!!! Argh!!!!! She did however say that she would accept the virtual representation of the websites that were shown but she said it in such a begrudging voice you could tell she really didn’t want to. Then the judge stated they would recess to conference for the decision.

We did not know at this point how things would go. I was a nervous wreck. I was worried that the adoption would be denied, that we would never get you, etc. The time seemed to go by slowly, but I think it was only about 10 minutes before the judge came back in. He read a lot of things and then stated that the court approved the adoption and that the 10 day waiting period was waived!!!!!! Yay!!!! You were officially ours. I couldn’t believe it. The decision will not take affect until the 3rd of May, the first working day after the holidays, but it was done!

I was in shock I think. I had been so worried, that I still didn’t think it was done. I was still waiting for someone to come out and say - psyche! just joking - you can’t have him! Then before I knew it, you were shuffled off back to the orphanage and we were left standing there on the sidewalk feeling a little pathetic and let down. We felt like something momentous had happened and there we were - slightly beaten and bruised after the proceedings and now you were gone again!

We went back to the hotel and had a quick lunch, then our driver came to pick us up to go see you. We were so excited to see you - really for the first time as officially part of our family. We got to the orphanage and ran into the Radzinski family. We were able to talk for a little bit but them they were ushered into the orphanage director’s office. G3 remarked to me - it seems like that was a lifetime away from us - it seems like we have come so far! Anyway, we sat there for a long while and then finally saw you come around the corner. There was a whole stampede of kids, then you popped your head in the door and said, “Hi Mom, Hi Papa, Bye!” and then ran off down the hallway with the other kids. G3 and I just stared at each other in wonderment. His came partly because it was the first time you referred to him as Papa. But partly in amazement - you certainly fit in our family. There are some t-shirts that say, so and so visited here and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. G3 was joking, we should be wearing shirts that say, I adopted you, spent all this time and money, and all I got was a lousy Hi Mom and hi papa. We laughed, don’t worry, we aren’t mad. We are happy that you are so easy with us! But this was just the weirdest end to the saga!

You must have been doing some official orphanage function because in about 30 minutes you came back. We had a great time visiting you and talking, but all too soon it was time to say good-bye. We came back to the hotel and let me rest my leg up before going out to dinner.

I am just so thankful that everything worked out ok. Sasha just called us and explained that there was a high profile case in Mariupol a little while ago that might have affected this, but he was still looking into it. So heads up to everyone else. Find some way to justify income. It obviously does not have to be a lot, but I guess they need something on the books.

I will end here, happy and excited to have a new son!

We love you more than you will ever know!

Bethany, G3, G4, and Amanda