Mortician or Spy? You Decide

Dearest Dema,

Well, things are in full swing as we get ready to come and get you. You would not believe what we are going through to make this happen! The first, money. Apparently we have to take most of our money in cash and it has to be nice bills - maybe not new, but unmarked and uncreased. So I went to our bank yesterday and found out that you just can not get new money. So I sat there for an hour as every teller went through their drawer to find the prettiest bills they had. And then it only amounted to half of what we needed. So back to the bank next week to get the rest of it hopefully.

Then I had to switch gears really quick as I had a speaking engagement at a local library near Salt Lake City. It is part of the promotion for my book, but it is hard to concentrate when I am so excited about coming to get you. But, I got through that.

Next, Amanda has been training hard for the State Championships (which are tomorrow) and must have hurt herself last week. She is very tough and covers it up but couldn’t hold it in any longer last night. We thought it was just a separated muscle or a sprain, but it is obviously more than that. Her back was killing her and today she was diagnosed with a pinched nerve by the doctor. It probably happened last week when she was thrown by a fellow classmate and landed wrong, but now I really don’t know what to do. She is dying to compete tomorrow, so I guess we will let her, but I don’t know how good she do.

And on to G4 - who still doesn’t have his driver’s license. We keep fussing at him that he has to get it by the time we leave, because he will be all alone. Grandma doesn’t get into town until the 18th and we leave the 6th, so count ‘em - 12 days alone. There is no way he can ask others to drive him around. HE NEEDS TO DRIVE. He just has to do one more class that he was scheduled to do tonight but missed it. ARGHHHHHH. Just wait until you have kids. You will understand the maternal angst I am having. I don’t want to leave him alone but have no choice. But if I am going to leave him, I don’t want him stranded.

In other news, we went clothes shopping for you today. That was a fun exercise since we have no idea how much you have grown. So it was guess work. And quite by accident, trying to pick out clothes that we thought you would like, we ended up by getting everything in black! You are going to look like a mortician, or as G4 said, a spy. Hopefully you will like them and they will fit. But if not, oh well, we will have to try to find something there. The only positive thing I can say is that the color will hide dirt. 

I am impressed with how many people we are touching with this adoption, from the bank tellers to our friends. We just got a call today from some neighbors who want to throw you a welcome home party. You truly are very loved and very wanted already! Anyway, that’s all for now. 

Hugs and kisses,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

8 days and Counting

Dearest Dema,

OMG!!! We got the call yesterday! I am so excited and can’t wait to see you. The only problem, which isn’t really a problem, is that it was so soon. We were all expecting the end of April and all of a sudden to find out that we have to leave in 9 days - mindboggling.

Of course, we are excited to get over there as soon as possible and get you. Every day that goes by is another lost opportunity in my book. Anyway, poor G3 spent 3 hours on the phone last night with Delta trying to get all of us first class tickets to travel. We have been saving frequent flier miles and had plenty - we could have flown everyone to the moon and back with the amount of miles we have. But (there is always a but) there was no availability to use them in any configuration to get to you. We tried every combination but the best we could do was pretty crappy flights in coach through Minneapolis and Amsterdam. The flight times are not great either. But it is what it is. We will try to upgrade at the airport but don’t count on it.

The good news is that the trip is going to coincide perfectly with G3’s business trips. We are going to try to stay over there while we have the mandatory 10 day waiting period and go to France and Sweden. G3 has to go on business and Amanda and I will tag along. Unfortunately G4 will not be able to come - he has classes and finals are the end of April. He is a little upset, but he said he will gladly stay behind and help get things ready for you.

In other news, Amanda is training hard for the state championships this weekend - a little too hard. She managed to separate a muscle in her shoulder that is giving her a lot of pain. Hopefully it will not impact her performance too much, but if it does - you just get to be dragged to a National Qualifier this summer instead!

We have gotten the ball rolling with getting ready for the trip. I got out the bag I had been saving for you and will go shopping for your clothes soon. I hope I can guess the size - otherwise we will have to shop there. Victoria is going to try to call you also these next few days so you can anticipate us, but if she doesn’t get through, you will be in for a big surprise.

Hopefully, all will go smoothly these next few days as we prepare. Another regret I have is not being able to learn more Russian than I have. I have learned a lot, but certainly not enough to really effectively communicate. I will redouble my efforts though - I will spend the plane trip studying! But nothing is dimming our excitement to see you and bring you home!

Love as always,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

Sitting on Pins and Needles

Dearest Dema,

We have been up and down again these past few days. We got the paper in that was needed, only to hear a few days later that we again had our paperwork thrown out because the notary had gotten married and her name had changed between the first November date and now. So we were a little worried that everything was going to get thrown out for a while and we would have had to start over. But, we were lucky!

I got an email yesterday saying that the paperwork went through - everything was accepted and we should be hearing within a day or two! Yea! Now I have to go panic again and start getting your room ready. We purchased a bookcase and dresser for your room but haven’t really decided what to do about the beds yet. I think for the short term, while we are here in Utah, that we will just have you use the two twin beds. I think then that we will put those in a guest room once we move, and we will give you our bedroom set. The one that daddy John and I use is almost brand new, we got it just a year ago, but we don’t like it that much. The bed is too low for us, so I think we will give you that one and just get a new one for ourselves. We had initially thought of giving you G4’s bed but he doesn’t have a dresser and this one we have has two matching nightstands and a dresser that matches. So, much to decide! But we want to wait for you to get here to make a lot of these decisions. IF YOU EVER GET HERE! I guess I am getting a little impatient and want you here already like yesterday!

But we are getting closer - day by day. I am feeling pretty good about it now - I just feel like we will be traveling over there the second or third week of April.

Bye for now, but hopefully not for long!

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

We don't live in a cardboard box - Honest!

Dearest Dema,

In this crazy upside down world that adoption is - I have been in a high high and a low low all in the same day. The day started off promising enough - the first two families from North Carolina that participated in a similar hosting program heard about a travel date. They submitted their paperwork a week or so before ours. So I was at the calendar in a flash to count out seven days so that I knew exactly when we would be notified of a travel date for you.

Then came the disappointment. We heard from the adoption facilitator that our dossier had been approved with one minor problem - they wanted a third party verification of our lease even though they had the lease contract and a notarized, apostilled statement from the landlord. ARGHHHHHH! And to further complicate things, if we did not back date the document to November (when we had all the other documents done) we were going to have to resubmit the paperwork all over again with updated dates. So - deep breath - then found out the lady that had notarized all the documents to begin with that worked for Daddy John had just left the company several days previously to start a new job. What are the odds of her backdating a piece of paper for us and notarizing it? At a new job? Just about so small they can’t be counted!

For the first time in all of this I had to struggle back tears. I felt we were so close and then it was snatched away. I truly felt that we would not get to you until you were 22! Then luck shined on us - Daddy John got in contact with Melanie at her new job and she agreed to do it if we could meet her between 12:45 and 12:50. Then the family you had stayed with a few days before coming to us just so happens that the mom is a real estate agent and was willing to help out.

So in the end, everything worked out. We got the paper done, signed and in the mail. It should be in Ukraine in several days and everything should be back on target. We hope to be traveling by the middle of April!

Can’t wait to see you,

Love,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda

Still Waiting

Dearest Dema,

Well, even though we haven’t heard about a travel date yet, I still feel positive about moving forward to get you. We had a long Skype call with Alex yesterday evening and he said that he would try to call you. It might be easier for him to get in touch with you than for us. I told him that I want you to know we will be coming in April or May. I am sure that it will be a shock for you - here we have been working so hard and constantly praying for things to move along - so it will not be a surprise for us to finally see you. But I can imagine it might be a nasty shock for us to show up and you to realize that you will be leaving all things familiar.

This point is especially concerning to me, I actually lay awake thinking about it at night! I worry that you might not want to come with us. You will be leaving friends, a familiar place, your country and your language to come live with virtual strangers. I worry about how to convince you that it will be ok, that we will love you and give you all the benefits of a loving family life. You will find friends and make a future with us as your back up whether it is here or back in Ukraine, but this is going to be hard for you to understand. And I am sure that it will be hard even when you get here and you are lonely or frustrated.

I have joined several email groups about adopting older children in an effort to try to understand everything you will be going through or possibly facing while with us. I want to anticipate every possible scenario so that I can help guide you through it, but I sometimes get overwhelmed with this. I don’t know you yet, so how can I predict what you will be feeling or how you will react? 

All I do know is that all of us are desperate to have you a part of our family. We talk about you at least once a day and have planned out trips and things to take you to. I am afraid you will be a little frazzled with everything we want to show you! I know that one day, we both will look back on this and laugh, but for now, I am obsessed with making sure you have a smooth as possible transition to our family. I know that you will enrich our family no end. We are all looking forward to the new family you will help us create.

So, here I am counting the hours as they pass too slowly to hear back from the Ukrainian government and passing the time worrying about you.

Love always,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda