Penny Pinchers

Dearest Dema,

I am sure there will be many frustrating moments and low points as we try to finalize the adoption, but this last week will linger in my memory as one of those low points. Once you were gone, the paperwork started…

G3 and I had to sign the adoption agreement and get the first payment off. I signed the agreement, and took it into G3's office for him to sign. I thought he had signed it and sent it off and therefore proceeded to send off emails to that extent, when I received a call from him. This is where we started to go downhill. G3 had several concerns about the agreement and also asked if I had checked up on the company itself. I had been so caught up in the emotional aspect of this decision, I had neglected the practical aspect. Thank goodness G3 is so careful. I mean, we have never, ever, even thought of investing a fraction of that amount of money before without checking and double checking the source or company involved.

As an aside to Dema, you will learn about us as you live with us - but there is nothing left to chance in this family! G3 is good at squeezing every penny out of a deal that he can. For example, when we go to buy cars, he has a whole system. He researches the car he wants, decides what he wants to pay (which is base price plus $1000 to the dealership to make a modest profit) and then waits until the last day of a quarter. Then he starts calling around dealerships and talking directly to the sales manager and starts the conversation with a question, "Have you made your quota of sales this quarter?" If the answer is no (which it almost always is) he then proceeds to offer a cash deal at his prearranged price. After he waits a decent interval for the poor manager to pick himself up off the floor or stop choking, he reiterates the offer. He will continue to do this with dealership after dealership in ever widening concentric circles from where we live until he finds a yes answer. And believe it or not - we have always gotten our car at ridiculously low prices!

I know that I am getting off topic here, but I can't stop myself. G3 is also the same man who will empty out a reusable vacuum bag to reuse it instead of buying a new one. But enough fun at his expense - I am to be implicated in this as well. Last week we had to rent a car on a trip we were taking (we were driving the motorhome and were not towing a car.) Unable to find what I thought was a reasonable rate for a rental car, I actually went to Rent-a-Wreck in Pasadena, CA obtain a rental car. I found them online and felt that their rate of $29.99 a day for a SUV was reasonable - unlike the $60.00 from the next best, Thrifty. Now I should have known something was up when I saw the 11 police cars at a nearby hotel (obvious drug bust) with several young men lined up face down on the pavement out front as we were driving to the Rent-a-Wreck office. But my frugal nature was undeterred. Even when we saw several more young men with gang tattoos hanging out around the corner where the office was, I still was determined to get the best deal. But not to throw caution to the wind, I asked G4 to come with me to rent the car. I figured that his size would deter any serious problems. So G3 dropped us off shaking his head and went down the street to get gas. We walked in and after trying to hide the retching noises politely behind our hands from the smell in the office, just smiled as we breathed through our mouths. The gentleman behind the counter was very chatty and wanted to know all about why we were renting a car and what we were going to do. I thought it was just for conversation only to have him follow up the comment, "Good, I just needed to make sure you weren't going to drive over the border with the car - most of our customers try to." My jaw dropped as I realized his implication. I must have sputtered something because he followed up with, "Oh, don't worry, I had you figured for someone who only rents new cars, not ones like ours. But I just had to ask."

I couldn't get out of there fast enough but then when I saw the car, I thought out of the frying pan into the fire! It was a Toyota Rav4 with 263,000 miles on it. At some point in its life it must have been hot-wired as a suspicious amount of hardware was missing from its steering column and around the keyhole. G4 and I held our breaths as it started (which it did) and then drove away - right to the corner gas station as it was on empty. Hopping out of the car to fill it with gas I was thinking okay, this really isn't to bad. Then I spent the next 5 minutes looking for the credit card swipey thing on the pump. Finally I gave up and went to find an attendant only to find out after shouting at her behind 3 inches of bullet proof glass that they were cash only. Thanks goodness I had some cash on me. But the car worked for us - no breakdowns or problems (except for the time the dome light fell out spontaneously and bonked me on the head as I was driving). So, I feel vindicated after all. However, the rest of the family has decided that I will have nothing to do with any type of reservations ever again. I don't know why…...

So sorry for the aside, but I think it really shows our personality - frugal to the core. Bearing this in mind, we start checking out this company and come to find out that it is not licensed, bonded, or insured (we come to find out that most companies are not in this space). This freaks out G3 and so he fusses at me to start to research the company and see what I can find out. I of course am happy to do so, horrified at my lapse in judgement, but also hopping up and down thinking it has to be okay because we need Dema.

So, to make a long story short, it takes us a week to find out there have been no complaints about the company, that they have a good track record in Ukraine with the American embassy, and to annoy the employees of the company with endless questions and issues that we need answered. The resolution - this is one area where G3 and I will have to go on faith and accept all the risks. As you can imagine, a hard pill to swallow from a family who has never made an impulsive decision in our whole life!

Here comes life lesson number three for you, Dema. Always ask questions and never take anything at face value. It is important to do your due diligence and feel good about a decision you have made. If you feel like you are being forced or rushed into something, there is usually something that is being hidden. So ask questions, do research, and always be as informed as you can. And even if the outcome doesn't change or things don't go as planned, you will at least be as prepared as you can. Some surprises are fun, others much less so.

So, now I think everything is settled - at least for now and we are moving forward. We have come to peace with the situation and have decided to focus on the outcome not the process. 

Gotta go for now. And as always, thinking of you Dema!

Love,

Bethany, Amanda, G3, and G4