Chronic Adoption Fatigue Syndrome (CAFS)

Usually I blog about what is going on in our lives, but we had a great day. Okay, mostly great after I recovered from a heart attack when Alex had another talk with me. Normally these go well, but this one degenerated after he and I were talking about G4's green hair. I mentioned that I wanted G4 to pierce his ears but he wouldn't do it. This opened Alex's eyes as he lit up and told me he wanted to get one ear pierced. I am all for it but G3 reined me back in and correctly told me it was something that Alex would have to earn in the future. He was a little miffed at that, but took it in stride. Then he asked if he could have a tattoo. After I picked myself up off the floor, I must have looked freaked out because Alex asked, "You ok mom?" at which I screamed "NO! You could Hepatits C and DIE!" I am a mite freaky about infectious diseases. I scrambled for the computer and typed on google translate as fast as I could no tattoos, not now, not ever! Then he started laughing and pulls his sleeve up and shows me a homemade tattoo on his shoulder! It is very small and didn't take very well, but he was describing how he and his friends got together one night and did this. I swear, I am not going to be able to survive any more of these "talks". My heart is going to just give out one of these days!

The only other major thing today was an orthodontist visit where I learned that we were going to have to pay equal to the adoption fees all over again in his mouth! Four wisdom teeth need to be extracted like yesterday and there is another tooth that had a bad filling that needs to be pulled, and then braces with coils for about 2 years. Yikes!

Anyway, I thought I would revisit something that I want to coin the name for and then make a million dollars finding a cure for! I have come up with a name for the fatigue that struck us and the next family - we will see if everyone gets it - Chronic Adoption Fatigue Syndrome. At first we thought it was just jet lag, but rapidly realized that 4 weeks into the trip, jet lag should have resolved. I have a couple of theories - just bear with me.

1. Ukrainian Beds and Pillows - While there are many lovely things about Ukraine (the people, the food, the culture) there are a few things that you can do without, and chief among those are their beds and pillows. The mattresses are about on average 1/2 inch thick, just foam, and often lumpy. This is universal, whether it is an apartment, hotel, or anywhere. The pillows are dense, heavy, and the wrong shape - square, not rectangular. You might as well just pull up the nearest boulder for all the comfort they provide. This combination makes for bad quality sleep. You need about two hours to get 30 minutes of real sleep.

2. North Pole like almost 24 hour daylight - I know that Ukraine is north - but people, it is not above the arctic circle! Why does it get light at about 4 in the morning and stay light until 10? And we were there in April. Does the sun never set in the middle of summer? And with this known issue - why are there no black out drapes in the windows? Gauzy curtains might be beautiful blowing in the breeze, but do nothing to aid sleep when the sun's rays are burning holes in your retinas.

3. Emotions - No matter how prepared you are - these kids have the ability to just wring any staying power you have out of you. You will be assaulted on every level with emotions that you thought were behind you in your unstable teenage years! You will be frustrated, worried about money, in love, homesick, happy, and sad, all at the same time. At the same time you feel like you are stuck in a wormhole without any way to get out. You hear about a light at the end of the tunnel, but it doesn't feel like you will ever reach it.

4. Time zone trouble - You want to keep in touch with home, which means staying up late to try to catch them in the morning. Then you are tired and have down time during the day which lends itself to naps! Then you get in this weird sleep cycle that seems a few hours on and a few hours off. There really is no cure for this one, but it is a killer.

Well, I think this just about summarizes the Chronic Adoption Fatigue Syndrome. It doesn't go away when you get home, but after a week or so, it gets better. But you will find yourself going to bed earlier than you did before - I think this whole process actually ages you by a few years.

But I can tell you, it is all worth it when you have an experience like I did tonight. Amanda and I were at her karate class tonight, which is just about a mile from our house, when up on the bike rides up Alex. He said he just wanted to say hi, then he said he was biking home. I got a text about 15 minutes later saying, "I home." Then it was followed up by, "I love you." Things like this are the cure for CAFS! They make your heart sing. I love you Alex, more than you will ever know!

Night all.