Day 29: Goodbye to A1

Dearest Alex,

Ok, so it appears that I got some information wrong. Don’t you just love language barriers. Anyway, you came and flopped down on the bed next to me last night and immediately started in with the fact that I had gotten it all wrong - Olga was not your girlfriend - just a friend who is a girl. Then I asked if you had a gilrfriend and you turned all red and said, “No, no, no.” I don’t know that I fully believe it, but you were adamant, but remember, I have seen with my own eyes how teenage girls throw themselves at you!

Anyway, I had another great night’s sleep and woke up this morning to find that you were still asleep. Thank goodness, I was beginning to think that I had adopted a robot who didn’t sleep. And once you get to know me better, you will figure out that sleep is the ultimate goal in my life! I think I missed out on too much in the years around medical school and residency and it elevated sleep to a very important place in my life.

So, I snuck out and started to get ready trying to stay quiet. You finally got up around 9:00 am and said that you wanted to go out running, so I let you. I hope you know how difficult it is for me to let you do that. But after making sure that you had enough money and the phone, I let you go. I know that everything is overwhelming at times and that you need to get away. Exercise is probably a really good way to deal with everything. But when you came back a suspiciously short time later with a grocery bag from the market - I realized you had fooled me - you went to get more food at the market!

Anyway, you were hot and sweaty, so I cooked breakfast for you. Not as good as yours I am afraid, but hopefully you liked it. Then we did a little English work and pretty soon A1 came. He had downloaded movies onto DVD’s in Russian for you, which was really nice of him. I want you to have some ability to keep your language and I figured reading Russian books and watching movies in the language will help.

We had Sergei drive us downtown and got caught up in the marathon that was being run there today. We couldn’t make it to the center of the city, so we got out and walked through a really pretty park by the river and then walked over to Kreschatyk (sp?) Street. It was the starting and ending point of the marathon. There were bunches of people milling around, very fun, but hot. Then Sergei picked us up and drove us to another place by the river with all sorts of cafes and a boardwalk area. It was a lot of fun. We ended up at a sushi restaurant of all things and had a lovely lunch.

All too soon A1 had to leave. He is on his way to Poltava to have surgery this coming week and recuperate at home with his parents. He has been saving up his vacation from work. So we walked to the subway and he pointed us in our direction and off we went. It was sad to say goodbye to him, but as always we will keep in touch.

I am so proud of you and me - we navigated the subway by ourselves and found our way back to the hotel completely by ourselves. No problems at all. It was so hot and nasty though that all we could really do is collapse in the apartment and cool off with the fans. It must be lethal here in the summer.

You have been yakking for the past hour or so on Skype with your friends. I am tempted to shut it off but I know your opportunities to do so will end soon. You also asked A1 today if you thought we would be bringing you back this summer. Yikes! I don’t think so. I am so homesick it isn’t funny. And while we have had a record breaking FAST adoption that no one else in history has gotten executed this quick - I still don’t think that the memories from this trip are going to fade in my mind anytime soon. It has not been hard, but not easy either. The emotional side of things is overwhelming at times. There have been times that I have not wanted to be the adult - I have wanted to curl in a little ball and have someone else be the adult and take care of me!

It is hard to put into words. Becky and I were talking about this today. It is impossible to articulate the visit here. It is definitely not a vacation in any way, but you have the lack of responsibility of home that a vacation brings. You are not a parent for most (actually all of the trip) because either you are just visiting the child a few hours a day, or when they are with you, you are still on their turf, helpless with the language barrier. Even though I can speak and understand a little - it doesn’t seem to help. You just can’t seem to impose normal controls or expectations because everything is unfamiliar and a little skewed. We are in an apartment with a kitchen, yet you can’t cook like you normally would. This is just one of the things. You can buy everything you need here but somehow it is more difficult to meet your needs. I don’t even know if I am making any sense but that is just the reality of the way I see it.

So, I am anxious to get home and start making you part of the family. I know the bonding has started here, but I think it will go so much faster in America. Hopefully, you will feel less of the pull of your friends and Grandma there. I know that we are asking so much of you - something I know I couldn’t have done at 14. And you are doing it with such grace and maturity that it sometimes floors me. I have been so appreciative of how protective you are of me, especially when we are out and about. But at the same time, I want you to feel that protected too, and I think I can do it much better at home.

Tomorrow we have the doctor’s appointment and then on Tuesday, the embassy final paperwork!

Love you always,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda