I have decided that this will be my last post. With the upcoming move next month and everything else going on, I just don't have time like I used to to write. I have also decided to concentrate on my next book (which is half done!) and try to get it finished.
We have been so blessed on this whole journey. I can't believe that the hosting program is starting again this week. To think, a year ago we were worried about whether or not Alex would want to stay with us for a little bit, much less even want to become a part of this family. As I think back on the events of the past year - I realize how far we have come. From the paper work to the trip to Ukraine and then coming back home, it is been incredible. I was looking at Alex last night as he was standing in the kitchen talking to G3 and realized that we are really a true family now. He is integrated - there are problems, there are frustrations, and there are still issues to work on, but as I was watching them, I saw how comfortable everyone was.
For everyone out there reading, I want to just catalogue some of the changes that have occurred to make us a family.
1. Alex now routinely chooses to sit at the dinner table with the rest of the family. He will get his plate of food and plops down at the table without thinking about it. If you remember from earlier posts - this was not always the case.
2. Alex comes out of his room more to interact with the rest of the family and seeks out G3 actively when he is home to talk to.
3. He routinely asks about the plan of the day and is getting used to the things we do.
4. He has stopped asking incessantly if I love him - he might ask every once in a while - but for the most part - it is only every once in a while. I hope this means he is more sure of my love for him.
5. Alex is actively talking about the future - something he never did when he came here. He talks about getting his driver's license some day, getting a job, and life as an adult. I remember when life was only for the moment for him and he even mentioned to me once that he never thought he would get a future. He is actively thinking about the move to Seattle and learning a new place.
6. He is starting to suggest things for the family to do together. A few nights ago, he asked to watch Ice Age with everyone. This is a big step, as he usually preferred to do things with just me in the past. It is still mostly that way, but definitely improving.
We still have things to work on:
1. Lack of interest in school work
2. Still holding himself aloof at times
3. Messiness
4. Reluctance to do some things with the family
However, for the most part, these are things that most teens struggle with. I am happy to say that a lot of these issues are normal teen things and do not feel like we are dealing with adoptive issues per se. I know that there will still be things that come up, but we feel like a family unit. I feel like I have 3 children, all the same, that need to be taken care of.
When I think of all the changes for us and him this past year, I can't help but feel overwhelmed at times. We have spent a lot of time and money completing our family, planning a move, Amanda's black belt and competition, G4's transfer applications, and a long trip to Ukraine. Alex had his first trip to America, got offered a family, had to wait, go to court and renounce all he has ever known, come back to America, and be immersed in an English only environment, and learn how to be in a family. WOW! And we all have come through this stronger, tougher, more resilient, and still with a sense of humor and a lot of love. We are a great family (no bragging here :) and I am proud of all of us and what this year has brought us. We are a complete family now and I am so happy!
A few final notes - these kids that are adopted need so much love. They are like little sponges soaking up everything you give them and then needing more. I was talking to G3 a couple of days ago and I came up with the perfect summation. You can't love them enough, treat them nice enough, think about them enough, give them enough. There is no way that you can make up for what they went through before they came to you - all you can do is try. Alex humbles me in that he still has the capacity for love and affection after everything. I don't know if he will ever let me in totally, but the little he has offered so far feeds my soul. There isn't enough you can do in the understanding and empathy department - but they can sense you are trying, and that seems like enough.
Thank you for sharing this journey with us. Writing this has been very cathartic for me! I appreciate all the support I have received. I would love to keep in touch - please leave a comment and I will email my contact info.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Internal Conflicts
Well, both Alex and I have been on a little emotional roller coaster recently and I don't see a way off. It is really like a real life coaster - thrills and scares, but one that will not stop and let you get off.
Alex is starting to have problems with how comfortable he is getting here, I think. Out of the blue, he said to me in the car the other day, "Good mother, good sister and brother, good father, I happy here." I was so surprised that I almost drove off the road. There was nothing that precipitated it and he sounded sincere. But just that same day, I was talking to him about English lessons and he got so fussy. He started in with the old routine that I hadn't heard in a while, "You not my mother. You no love me. I no want to learn English. If English good, then Russian bad." He would not listen to me that we would keep his Russian good and that he really needed to learn English, only good could come of it. I was really hurt by this - he has been really eager to learn English in the past, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. He has really left behind his old life. He is getting comfortable here, but still is not fully integrated yet, and I think feels a little adrift. He feels that by rejecting the new, the old will still be there. But what he doesn't understand, is that the old is fading away and there is nothing he can do about it. He can't hang on to it no matter what. My heart breaks as I consider this - I wish that he could understand that he has his forever home with us - I know that it is coming and this realization is what is triggering these fears, but it is a slow realization. I want to snap my fingers and have it happen right now!
So, for now, to help, I am just laying off English and just loving him. So far, this has been a good fix for everything else that has gone on. But that brings up my conflict. I just love this kid so much that I feel everything so intensely with him. He and I have forged a really strong bond that is both wonderful and draining at the same time. I feel every mood swing, every frustration, and every happiness. It is great that we are so close, but I feel that at times it is too much for me. When I have to say no to him, it is like a knife in my heart, because I feel his pain. He still equates love with things and privileges which makes parenting very difficult. It is hard to say no to any kid, but this makes it soooo hard. I can be more objective with my kids, because I know their past so well. I know when they are really hurt and when they can handle things. With Alex, there is so much unknown, but the feelings are so intense and known. There are times he is hurting that I can feel it like it is my own, yet I don't understand why. This makes it so much more complicated!
There have been a few times when he is mad or trying to get a rise out of me that he will say, "You not my mom." This just cuts to the quick as I realize the truth of this - I am not his mom. On a piece of paper maybe, but I have not earned the right yet and I am not sure even how to do this or if it is even possible. I am trying to love him as best as I can, but nothing can change the fact that I am just another woman in a long string of women that have cared for him, hopefully better than most, but certainly not anything special in his mind. He does care for me, I know that, but whether it is truly as deep as I wish - who knows? Something tells me that we will never be let into his heart all the way, and that is understandable. After all he has been through to even let us close is a miracle.
But there are times when I can forget this. We are at the trampoline place again and he struck up a conversation here with a guy that served a mission in Ukraine. After Alex and this guy talked, he came over and spoke to me a few minutes. He mentioned that they were talking about school and the guy was wondering who was teaching him English. Alex told the guy that it was his mom and when he relayed this to me - he added that there was no hesitation - he said that he believes Alex thinks of me that way! These little moments can feed the soul!
Alex is starting to have problems with how comfortable he is getting here, I think. Out of the blue, he said to me in the car the other day, "Good mother, good sister and brother, good father, I happy here." I was so surprised that I almost drove off the road. There was nothing that precipitated it and he sounded sincere. But just that same day, I was talking to him about English lessons and he got so fussy. He started in with the old routine that I hadn't heard in a while, "You not my mother. You no love me. I no want to learn English. If English good, then Russian bad." He would not listen to me that we would keep his Russian good and that he really needed to learn English, only good could come of it. I was really hurt by this - he has been really eager to learn English in the past, but the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. He has really left behind his old life. He is getting comfortable here, but still is not fully integrated yet, and I think feels a little adrift. He feels that by rejecting the new, the old will still be there. But what he doesn't understand, is that the old is fading away and there is nothing he can do about it. He can't hang on to it no matter what. My heart breaks as I consider this - I wish that he could understand that he has his forever home with us - I know that it is coming and this realization is what is triggering these fears, but it is a slow realization. I want to snap my fingers and have it happen right now!
So, for now, to help, I am just laying off English and just loving him. So far, this has been a good fix for everything else that has gone on. But that brings up my conflict. I just love this kid so much that I feel everything so intensely with him. He and I have forged a really strong bond that is both wonderful and draining at the same time. I feel every mood swing, every frustration, and every happiness. It is great that we are so close, but I feel that at times it is too much for me. When I have to say no to him, it is like a knife in my heart, because I feel his pain. He still equates love with things and privileges which makes parenting very difficult. It is hard to say no to any kid, but this makes it soooo hard. I can be more objective with my kids, because I know their past so well. I know when they are really hurt and when they can handle things. With Alex, there is so much unknown, but the feelings are so intense and known. There are times he is hurting that I can feel it like it is my own, yet I don't understand why. This makes it so much more complicated!
There have been a few times when he is mad or trying to get a rise out of me that he will say, "You not my mom." This just cuts to the quick as I realize the truth of this - I am not his mom. On a piece of paper maybe, but I have not earned the right yet and I am not sure even how to do this or if it is even possible. I am trying to love him as best as I can, but nothing can change the fact that I am just another woman in a long string of women that have cared for him, hopefully better than most, but certainly not anything special in his mind. He does care for me, I know that, but whether it is truly as deep as I wish - who knows? Something tells me that we will never be let into his heart all the way, and that is understandable. After all he has been through to even let us close is a miracle.
But there are times when I can forget this. We are at the trampoline place again and he struck up a conversation here with a guy that served a mission in Ukraine. After Alex and this guy talked, he came over and spoke to me a few minutes. He mentioned that they were talking about school and the guy was wondering who was teaching him English. Alex told the guy that it was his mom and when he relayed this to me - he added that there was no hesitation - he said that he believes Alex thinks of me that way! These little moments can feed the soul!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
No rest for the weary
This week has been just a crazy whirlwind. I keep thinking that life will slow down at some point, but it never does. I guess I will just have to adjust my expectations.
On Monday, G3 and I had to go out to dinner with some of the people he works with. He has a team of about 55-60 people under him, but his heart really with the financial team. That is where he came from years ago, so he has a soft spot for them. His team has been working really hard and he wanted to reward them. He invited them and their spouses out to dinner and surprised them with their raises at dessert. They were really surprised and excited. Unfortunately, I had to leave Alex to go to dinner. He was not happy for me to leave him. But G4 took him and Amanda out to the new Spiderman movie and he seemed to be happy.
On Tuesday, G3 and I had to go to Park City for a DNC fundraiser. We have donated quite a bit to the Obama campaign this year (yes, we are progressive, liberal, tree-hugging, democrats!). Joe Biden was speaking and we were excited to go. I met the most lovely woman there and hopefully have made a new friend. Also, after Biden spoke, he said he would take some questions from the audience. I raised my hand and was one of the 3 questions he took. Afterwards, there was quite a line to meet him in person and G3 and I were at the end of the line. He had to leave to have dinner with the hosts of the fundraiser, so he started to walk away, but at the last moment, he looked at me and recognized me as one of the question askers and motioned me over. He spent about 10 minutes talking to G3 and myself hugging and kissing me - it was crazy!!! Of course, if anyone is wondering what my question was about - don't think too hard. What is the subject most of interest to me? Why, educational freedom of course! Homeschooling is not just the special interest of the right wing party, and I wanted to make that point.
Anyway, poor Alex was left without me for a second night in a row - he was a little miffed. But by Wednesday, I had a sore throat and cough - arghhhh! I have been so sick these past few months. I am so over being sick. I tried to rest, but Alex wanted to go to the trampoline place, so I dragged myself out with him. At least all I have to do is sit. G3 came to relieve me so I was able to come home (not rest - but to make dinner!) Then after making dinner, I went to put some laundry away in Alex's room and started hyperventilating at the mess. I could not resist it, but had to clean up. That was a 45 minute ordeal. But I found a picture of his dad and him (at about age 3) that was just thrown under some clothes. I found a picture frame and put it on the night table for him. He actually said thank when he came home and saw that I had cleaned up - that is a big step - before he insisted on doing it himself and didn't want me cleaning.
Then about 5 minutes before G3 came home I finally sat down. He walked in and said, "I am glad you had a chance to rest!" Ack!!! I can't win!
On Monday, G3 and I had to go out to dinner with some of the people he works with. He has a team of about 55-60 people under him, but his heart really with the financial team. That is where he came from years ago, so he has a soft spot for them. His team has been working really hard and he wanted to reward them. He invited them and their spouses out to dinner and surprised them with their raises at dessert. They were really surprised and excited. Unfortunately, I had to leave Alex to go to dinner. He was not happy for me to leave him. But G4 took him and Amanda out to the new Spiderman movie and he seemed to be happy.
On Tuesday, G3 and I had to go to Park City for a DNC fundraiser. We have donated quite a bit to the Obama campaign this year (yes, we are progressive, liberal, tree-hugging, democrats!). Joe Biden was speaking and we were excited to go. I met the most lovely woman there and hopefully have made a new friend. Also, after Biden spoke, he said he would take some questions from the audience. I raised my hand and was one of the 3 questions he took. Afterwards, there was quite a line to meet him in person and G3 and I were at the end of the line. He had to leave to have dinner with the hosts of the fundraiser, so he started to walk away, but at the last moment, he looked at me and recognized me as one of the question askers and motioned me over. He spent about 10 minutes talking to G3 and myself hugging and kissing me - it was crazy!!! Of course, if anyone is wondering what my question was about - don't think too hard. What is the subject most of interest to me? Why, educational freedom of course! Homeschooling is not just the special interest of the right wing party, and I wanted to make that point.
Anyway, poor Alex was left without me for a second night in a row - he was a little miffed. But by Wednesday, I had a sore throat and cough - arghhhh! I have been so sick these past few months. I am so over being sick. I tried to rest, but Alex wanted to go to the trampoline place, so I dragged myself out with him. At least all I have to do is sit. G3 came to relieve me so I was able to come home (not rest - but to make dinner!) Then after making dinner, I went to put some laundry away in Alex's room and started hyperventilating at the mess. I could not resist it, but had to clean up. That was a 45 minute ordeal. But I found a picture of his dad and him (at about age 3) that was just thrown under some clothes. I found a picture frame and put it on the night table for him. He actually said thank when he came home and saw that I had cleaned up - that is a big step - before he insisted on doing it himself and didn't want me cleaning.
Then about 5 minutes before G3 came home I finally sat down. He walked in and said, "I am glad you had a chance to rest!" Ack!!! I can't win!
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Catching up on Pictures
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Trying not to be Cynical
Alex hasn't asked to call Ukraine for a while, so two nights ago I suggested that he call. I don't know if I should have, but I figured I should offer. He called his Grandma, who just spent 30 minutes crying and talking. We have discovered that calling through Skype is the cheapest way to call, so I could hear her. She just monopolized the conversation. He was just placating her and when he got off the phone, he told me that she needed money for medicine and hospital bills. He also told me that she had not had enough money recently to pay for the upkeep on his dad's grave. I wonder how she blew through all the money we gave her when we left Ukraine 2 months ago.
Anyway, he was very reluctant to ask me for money for her, but I could tell he felt obligated to do so. I was so mad, this is a burden that he should not have to bear. I was also mad at her - she really didn't give him a chance to talk about his life here. She didn't give him a chance to tell her if he was ok! So this is where my cynicalness is coming out. I should be more charitable, but it is hard - I think the first priority on all our lives should be Alex!
But, I tried to put aside all these feelings and feel more understanding of her situation. Thank goodness the Morfords are going over to Ukraine. (Thank you Alisa and Marsh!) I rushed around yesterday, withdrawing money, and having Alex write a letter, so that they could hand deliver some money to her. I don't know how we will support her once we do not have anyone going over there. I do not feel comfortable sending cash in the mail and I do not think she has a bank account, but maybe this won't be a problem - I am not going to suggest Alex call her again. If he wants to - fine, but I am not going to push it.
After the conversation about his grandmother ended, he looked so pitiful. I tucked him in bed and tried to say goodnight, but he just clung to me and didn't want to let go. He wanted me to stroke his hair until he fell asleep, so I gladly did. My heart was breaking as I looked down at him. He is such a little boy at heart and just needs so much love - I hope I am up to this task that has been set before me.
Anyway, he was very reluctant to ask me for money for her, but I could tell he felt obligated to do so. I was so mad, this is a burden that he should not have to bear. I was also mad at her - she really didn't give him a chance to talk about his life here. She didn't give him a chance to tell her if he was ok! So this is where my cynicalness is coming out. I should be more charitable, but it is hard - I think the first priority on all our lives should be Alex!
But, I tried to put aside all these feelings and feel more understanding of her situation. Thank goodness the Morfords are going over to Ukraine. (Thank you Alisa and Marsh!) I rushed around yesterday, withdrawing money, and having Alex write a letter, so that they could hand deliver some money to her. I don't know how we will support her once we do not have anyone going over there. I do not feel comfortable sending cash in the mail and I do not think she has a bank account, but maybe this won't be a problem - I am not going to suggest Alex call her again. If he wants to - fine, but I am not going to push it.
After the conversation about his grandmother ended, he looked so pitiful. I tucked him in bed and tried to say goodnight, but he just clung to me and didn't want to let go. He wanted me to stroke his hair until he fell asleep, so I gladly did. My heart was breaking as I looked down at him. He is such a little boy at heart and just needs so much love - I hope I am up to this task that has been set before me.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
A Day in the life of Alex's Stomach
I just had to post on this subject as I know we are not the only family that is amazed at the capacity for food these kids have. And remember, I have a 6'4" 16 year old son that I fed - and Alex is outpacing him at a phenomenal rate!
This was just an ordinary day - I just happened to pick today to keep track of what he ate.
Breakfast - 2 bowls of cereal (newly opened box this morning), banana, juice, large coffee
Snack - 1/2 bag of chips and dip
More snacks - juice and the rest of the box of cereal
Standing at refrigerator complaining there is nothing to eat
Lunch - 3 cups of potato salad, 2 pieces of white bread, 3 pieces of semolina bread, 4 large slices of gouda cheese
Snack - 1/2 bag of grapes, juice
More snacks - 2 sandwiches
More snacks - 2 large cokes (20 ounces each)
More complaining there is nothing to eat
More snacks - 2 pieces semolina bread and 4 large slices gouda cheese, juice
Dinner - Spaghetti with meatballs, mac and cheese, cauliflower, 2 pieces ciabatta bread
And it is now just 10:00pm and if you have been reading my blog, you know that dinner number 2 and 3 are coming in the next few hours.
I need to get a job to pay for this kid's appetite!
This was just an ordinary day - I just happened to pick today to keep track of what he ate.
Breakfast - 2 bowls of cereal (newly opened box this morning), banana, juice, large coffee
Snack - 1/2 bag of chips and dip
More snacks - juice and the rest of the box of cereal
Standing at refrigerator complaining there is nothing to eat
Lunch - 3 cups of potato salad, 2 pieces of white bread, 3 pieces of semolina bread, 4 large slices of gouda cheese
Snack - 1/2 bag of grapes, juice
More snacks - 2 sandwiches
More snacks - 2 large cokes (20 ounces each)
More complaining there is nothing to eat
More snacks - 2 pieces semolina bread and 4 large slices gouda cheese, juice
Dinner - Spaghetti with meatballs, mac and cheese, cauliflower, 2 pieces ciabatta bread
And it is now just 10:00pm and if you have been reading my blog, you know that dinner number 2 and 3 are coming in the next few hours.
I need to get a job to pay for this kid's appetite!
8 weeks as a family of 5!
Sorry that I have not blogged in a while, but I have been so busy. I was toying with the idea of stopping the blog, but G4 told me not to. So I guess I will keep it up a while longer.
We got home from Amanda’s nationals tired and recuperating from sickness. We had really been burning the candle at both ends and were feeling the results. I think also that the time we had been spending on traveling and Amanda had taken away from the family as a whole. G3 pointed out to me that we had really become 2 families, one of me and Alex and another of him, me, and the kids, and the two were not meshing together well.
I realized that he was right. I was so busy walking on eggshells around Alex, making sure that he was happy and then dealing with Amanda and her training, that I was not looking at the big picture of the family as a whole! I was overwhelmed with the details of getting her ready for her competition (like making hair pieces for the demo team) not to mention keeping the house clean for the showings we are having. It is all I can do to get the laundry and the dishes done some days. Also, in between there are dental visits for everyone and Amanda’s medications - yikes! G3 was complaining that he missed having a wife around! I was always busy with something else, and he was getting lost in the shuffle. So, I have been really trying hard to come up with activities that all 5 of us can do together. We went to play racquetball the other day and had a lot of fun. It was a great workout and we all were able to participate. I suggested a comedy club last night that was also a lot of fun. Alex didn’t understand much but he was able to pick up some of the physical comedy and was talking to me about it today.
Then in the midst of all this, we found contraband in Alex’s room! He can’t hide anything worth a damn (excuse me - but it is true) and his messiness caught up with him. G3 hit the roof. We had a big discussion the next day in which G3 revoked almost every privilege that Alex has. Alex was upset, but G3 followed it up with a really nice metaphor for Alex about how much he was loved, and how much we wanted to make him a part of our family forever. He was really sincere and it was great watching Alex’s face light up as he realized that discipline did not mean out of the family. I think he really thought that he was going to be sent home! It broke my heart to realize how tenuous this relationship still is. He has fussed a little at the constraints on him, but not as much as I would have thought.
We are now going to have to focus on packing and moving. G3 and I have to decide when we are going to Seattle for a house hunting trip. As well, we need to get G4 to his orientation and registered for classes in this coming fall semester. At times it seems overwhelming, but I also love moving and cleaning things out. Moving always gives me a chance to have a fresh start.
I have also been trying to cook some of Alex’s favorite foods. I made vareniki (spelling?) a couple of days ago from scratch. It wasn’t as hard as I thought. I made two kinds, potato and cheese, and then cherry. We all loved them, they turned out really good. I think Alex really enjoyed them. Then the next day, I made a Ukrainian salad (kind of like a potato salad) that he also liked. I love cooking, and cooking ethnic foods is always fun. Being vegetarian sometimes limits recipes, so I have had fun finding Ukrainian foods that I can modify to our herbivore ways!
I can’t believe that we are at 8 weeks already as a family of 5. It has been great, I can’t imagine life without Alex. His English is coming along despite some of his reluctance to do Rosetta Stone. He has completed this family and I am so grateful that he is with us. I love this little guy so much!
Monday, July 2, 2012
Silver Medalist at Nationals!!!!!
We have some great news today. Amanda won a silver medal in her weapons category yesterday. Now that she is a black belt and older, the level of competition has risen so very much. The categories are wider and she has a lot of people now to compete against. She started the morning with board breaking and placed 5th. She was a little disappointed, but her routine was flawless and well executed. I think that she was just outclassed by the older, more experienced competitors. It really tired her out though, and I was worried about the rest of the day. She is still so weak from the stomach flu and hasn't been able to eat anything for about 4 days now.
Then it was time for weapons. She was competing against the biggest group that she had ever competed against, and boy did she rise to the occasion. She performed her heart out and had a nearly flawless routine with one tiny bauble on her one-handed throw. She did not drop her staff though, but it was right in front of the judges. :( By a mere .3 of a point, she missed out on the gold medal, but we are so proud of her and happy. The gold medalist executed a perfect katana sword routine, that was not very difficult but traditional, and the judges are always swayed toward the traditional in martial arts. Amanda was a little disappointed but given her sickness and the stress, I think this was phenomenal.
After the weapons, it was time for forms. Amanda was really nervous about forms. Her category was huge this year - 54 other competitors. She was really tired at this point and we realized that she had just about given all she had, but this girl keeps on giving. She went out there are made it to the finals! She made it to the final 8 before being eliminated. We were amazed, it was her highest finish ever in a major competition in forms. Her coach was astounded.
We are just all so proud of her and her dedication. Lesser kids would have quit and given up, but she just kept on plugging away this whole tournament. I know all the hours training that this child has put in and it showed. She has worked so hard every step of the way and I am in awe of her accomplishments. All the hours I have sat at studios, watching her, and driving her 45 minutes away to train extra at other studios has all been worth it!
G3 is feeling better, he just spent a whole day in bed the other day, while I took care of the kids and took Amanda to training and the tournament. G4 felt a little bad for a day, but he never really succumbed. Unfortunately, I seem to have gotten the flu now. It started yesterday as I was throwing up before Amanda even started, and just got worse. I just came home after the competition and rested. Amanda wanted to go back to train with her friends that are competing today, so G3 and G4 drove her back in. I stayed at the hotel and Alex stayed with me. He is very protective and watched over me, covering me up with a blanket and sitting with me while I rested.
Today we fly home and get to start worrying about packing and the move. Now that Nationals are over, we need to focus on the next thing, which is moving and getting G4 settled at the University of Washington.
Then it was time for weapons. She was competing against the biggest group that she had ever competed against, and boy did she rise to the occasion. She performed her heart out and had a nearly flawless routine with one tiny bauble on her one-handed throw. She did not drop her staff though, but it was right in front of the judges. :( By a mere .3 of a point, she missed out on the gold medal, but we are so proud of her and happy. The gold medalist executed a perfect katana sword routine, that was not very difficult but traditional, and the judges are always swayed toward the traditional in martial arts. Amanda was a little disappointed but given her sickness and the stress, I think this was phenomenal.
After the weapons, it was time for forms. Amanda was really nervous about forms. Her category was huge this year - 54 other competitors. She was really tired at this point and we realized that she had just about given all she had, but this girl keeps on giving. She went out there are made it to the finals! She made it to the final 8 before being eliminated. We were amazed, it was her highest finish ever in a major competition in forms. Her coach was astounded.
We are just all so proud of her and her dedication. Lesser kids would have quit and given up, but she just kept on plugging away this whole tournament. I know all the hours training that this child has put in and it showed. She has worked so hard every step of the way and I am in awe of her accomplishments. All the hours I have sat at studios, watching her, and driving her 45 minutes away to train extra at other studios has all been worth it!
G3 is feeling better, he just spent a whole day in bed the other day, while I took care of the kids and took Amanda to training and the tournament. G4 felt a little bad for a day, but he never really succumbed. Unfortunately, I seem to have gotten the flu now. It started yesterday as I was throwing up before Amanda even started, and just got worse. I just came home after the competition and rested. Amanda wanted to go back to train with her friends that are competing today, so G3 and G4 drove her back in. I stayed at the hotel and Alex stayed with me. He is very protective and watched over me, covering me up with a blanket and sitting with me while I rested.
Today we fly home and get to start worrying about packing and the move. Now that Nationals are over, we need to focus on the next thing, which is moving and getting G4 settled at the University of Washington.
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