Day 26 : A very Humbling Day

Dearest Alex,

What a day! I am so dehydrated that I am a prune I have cried so much! It started early this morning with Amanda’s science class from Stanford. She has to get up at 3:15 am over here to catch the live discussion. I was being a clock watcher waking up every hour or so to make sure the alarm went off so that she did not miss class. Then every time I woke up, I would remember what was happening today and start thinking and worrying, and couldn’t go back to sleep.

Finally at 2:00 I got up to get the laundry out of the machine and hang it up so that it would dry. I got Amanda up at 3 and got her in class and then was finally able to go back to sleep. Poor Amanda was left to keep herself awake on her own.

When we woke up at 7:00 am, we hit the ground running. We were already almost all packed already. I just finished up packing the last few things that I had washed and then we ventured out to go to the orphanage. We discovered on the way out that the lift was broken, so that would mean heartache later when moving the suitcases down 8 flights of stairs, but for now, we were just focused on getting to you and seeing your grandma.

When we pulled up to the orphanage and saw you sitting on a bench with an older lady, obviously dressed in her Sunday best with a cute straw hat on. She immediately started crying and that started me off. She was talking, talking, talking, and you were trying to translate as best you could. We got some of the ideas of what was being said, but lost a lot of it in translation.

We gave her some flowers and then when she started talking about how much she pays in rent each month and how much heart medicine she needs, we gave her some money. We then all went into the orphanage to sit down. Finally Sasha turned up and was able to translate for us. I know your English is getting better, but you were in no way able to deal with the torrent of words that she was pouring out.

We videoed her talking so that we can listen to it later and so that you can have it someday to look at. We did find out a lot of information though. Your dad was 20 when you were born, so that explains why your grandma was so involved in raising you. She told us that she basically raised you. You will find out when you have children of your own some day that a 20 year old is still a child themselves and is in no shape to raise one of their own. Then he moved away with another lady and in 2007, when she was pregnant with your half-sister, he got appendicitis. He died of complications from an infection from surgery. I am so sorry. It is a shame that his life was cut short by that.

In 2010 you came into the orphanage because your grandma thought that she couldn’t care for you any more. She told us that when you were little, you would cry every night and pray for a real mommy and daddy. Then she said when you came into the orphanage, you cried as well, wondering why you didn’t have a family. That just set me off again! I cried and cried until I think everyone was ready to put me in a home! At this point I think you had had enough because you asked for an ipad and disappeared with Amanda into another room. I saw your face get very somber as she was describing your past and I just wanted to reach out and hug you again. I couldn’t though because she was crying too. Then finally I stopped crying and was able to visit like a normal person. Primarily it was because Sasha left for a while and I didn’t understand what she was saying.

Then we showed her some pictures of our home and G4 and miscellaneous other things, which caused her to cry again and therefore I was crying again. We couldn’t understand her so we had to call you in to translate. You are doing well - I know I have said this a hundred times - but I am so proud of how much English you have learned.

All of a sudden Sasha came in and said, “Time to go.” We didn’t want to leave but we had to do paperwork. We went to a lawyer’s office (which if you transliterate is called a notarees - funny enough) and signed papers and then went to get him a new birth certificate with his new name. We were able to get it without any difficulty so then back to the apartment (dragging the luggage down 8 flights of stairs) and then to orphanage to finally pick him up.

When we got there, we gave you the clothes we had brought for you and you went to change. Now everyone reading - get your hankies ready. This is where it really got rough for me. You walk out with a few photos, the camera we gave you to take pictures of your last day, a book, and the track suit we bought you 2 weeks ago. That was it. I was so humbled that this was all you had to represent 14 years of life. I mean, sometimes I fuss that I don’t have things and that life is hard - I will stop doing that now. You have taught me the meaning of humbleness today.

I had to walk away I was crying so hard. Thank goodness you didn’t see me. You were off snapping more last minute pictures. I felt such an awesome responsibility handed to me. I felt like I had the weight of making up for 14 years. Then I realized what a great gift you were to me. I realized that you were such a blessing to us and that making up for this time will be such fun. It will help us bond and become a closer family.

I was finally able to stop crying just in time, as we were called into the director’s office and basically given our marching orders! She really rules that orphanage but she does love the kids. She was admonishing you to study hard and do well and to take care of your family. She then admonished us to take care of you and discipline you! Don’t worry - I am not that much into discipline - I think you will like unschooling! Not too much structure.

After we left, we all squeezed into the car and off to Donetsk. This is quite a feat if you knew the amount of luggage that we had!. We were being driven by Vladimir who had driven us several times to and from Donetsk. I think he actually lives in Donetsk. Nobody uses air conditioning here - so the ride was a little uncomfortable with being squashed into the car for so long. Once we got to Donetsk, we stopped to get passport photos made. We then sped off to the passport office. We knew that it would take greasing the wheels to get it done quickly and sure enough $600 made it happen this afternoon!

He then took is to the hotel which is a riot. It is called the LIverpool Hotel and is totally Beatles themed. It has only Beatles music playing! I will post pictures tomorrow. There is so much more to tell. I want to type more now but am just exhausted. I need to sleep as we are leaving for Kiev early in the morning.

I am just so overwhelmed and excited that you are finally ours. You are the best kid in the world! We are so lucky to have found you and I can’t wait to get home and get you started on your new life.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life!

We love you so much,

Bethany, G3, G4, & Amanda