Officially, I feel like the world's worst mother. We had such a great vacation with great experiences, and then we go and ruin it. We had to break the news to Alex last night that we might be moving sooner than we expected. We were hoping to wait it out until September or so, but it looks like we will need to go sooner than that to get established before G4 starts his semester. We have decided - it looks official - Seattle! I am excited - I am always up for someplace new, but apparently Alex is not.
And of course, why should he be? He has already gone through so much change and now we are trying to take away the only consistent things in his life right now. We told him that we loved him and that he could come visit his friends as often as he wants, but that was not cutting it. He was as sad as I have ever seen him last night - it broke my heart watching him. I just wanted to cuddle him and tell him it would be ok - that he had to trust me. But I know that nothing got through. He put up a wall and it was impenetrable. I just held him tight and tried to telepathically message my love.
Today was a little better. He told me this morning that he was not happy but he would try to be. He humbled me all over again. I know that I would not have had that in me at 14 years of age. He has been a little mercurial today with his mood up and down. He was happy to be home but then got mopey again. He actually walked out on me during one conversation and then 10 minutes later turned around and launched himself into my arms saying I love you. Then a half hour later it was, "I no go. Utah my home." I told him, "No, you are my baby and I am never leaving you. I am your mom forever." To which he then smiled and said, "No, you my baby. I love you."
I know it is hard for him and that he is trying as hard as he can to accept the situation. I just need to get better at coming up with ways to help him adjust and realize that we stick together like crazy glue!
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