We are BACK at the trampoline place again. It seems like that is the only place I can get work done. Thank goodness for free wifi. We have had a couple of great days. I think ever since Alex verbalized his worries and frustrations, he has felt better. He has been in a great mood and is back to his old self. It was good for him to be able to express himself warts and all and realize that G3 and I were not going to back down or withdraw. We love him no matter what and are willing to listen to him.
However, while he is feeling better, I am starting to feel a little run down. It is getting hard balancing everyone's needs. Alex is taking a lot of my time. In fact, last night, he was downstairs playing a video game long after everyone else had gone to sleep. I went down to say goodnight and he asked me to stay with him. He wanted me to sit next to him. I told him I would for a little while. I pulled Amanda's bean bag up next to the one he was sitting in and sat down. He kept saying over and over, "Do you love me?" I kept saying, "Yes of course I do." But it just wasn't enough. I reached over and started stroking his hair and he quieted down a bit. Then I started falling asleep and the next thing I know, he had brought over some blankets and put them over me. I stirred a little and he said, "Shhh, you stay here with me." I stayed for a while but I really, really wanted to go to bed. I finally said, "I am going to bed." He fussed and tried to hold my hand to stop me from going, but I just didn't want to stay. I felt guilty, on other days, I would have stayed and given him the emotional support that he needed, but I just didn't have it in me yesterday. He finally kissed me good night and went back to his video game.
This morning, Amanda had a hissy fit at her studio. She is under so much stress with Nationals coming up. All of her medical problems are flaring up to, we were at the allergist's office Monday morning for 3 hours while she received an infusion of a new, experimental medicine to help control her cholinergic urticaria and asthma. Let's hope it ultimately works - but we won't know for at least 2 weeks. In the meantime, she is still on her cocktail of 9 different meds that is only partially effective. So my resistance is at an all time low! Then I got set off again this afternoon by Alex inviting a friend over. I yelled at him that he needs to check with me first and make sure the house is clean - he just looked at me like I had grown 3 heads. He pacified me with a kiss and showing me how much English he had done on Rosetta Stone. I then went to make cookies and felt marginally better - baking is very cathartic for me!
I think that the late nights with Alex and the early mornings with Amanda are wearing me down. I think that I need to take a mental health day. Also, all the emotional support that Alex needs can get tiring. I love providing it and am so happy that he lets me - but it does take a lot out of you. There are still all the attendant responsibilities of home and other kids, and then add this on top. But he is still such a delight. He makes me laugh so much. He has a great sense of humor and loves to joke around. He is very active and makes me move constantly. He is so loving and always watches out for me. I hurt my finger yesterday and he rushed to get ice and held my hand for a long time and hugged me. He is very giving of his love, always a gift that I love to receive.
I need to go now - boys being boys - Alex and Sergei are needing me to take videos of them doing flips.....
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