Well, Alex seems more resigned to moving now. He has even been joking a little about it and using it to get his way with things. I know he is manipulating me a little, but I am just content to let it happen. I have to get through to him that I have unconditional love for him and no matter what happens, he is my baby forever!
We got passes to 7 Peaks water park and spent a good portion of the afternoon there yesterday. It was fun just kicking back and sun bathing and visiting with friends.
He seemed a little quiet this morning, but was back to his normal self after a furious session working out and kicking and punching the wavemaster! He really seems to need a physical outlet for his emotions. Once he works out the aggression, then he is back to his old self. I knew he was going through something this morning, but I couldn't put my finger on exactly what it was. It is so weird being connected to someone so deeply that you know their every emotion, but you can't tell why because of the language barrier. Alex is also very resistant to getting in help translating, preferring to either work it out himself or try to communicate with me directly.
We are back to our old issues of trying to integrate Alex into the family as quickly as possible, but it seems very hard to do. He is very used to doing things on his own, and coupled with the busy lives that everyone else in the household are living, makes for a lot of solitary time. He also needs time away from us, just bike riding or running, where he can get away and not feel the smothering presence of all of us. Unfortunately, that leaves the rest of us, when we can get together (like at the dining room table for dinner) feeling bereft without his presence.
I feel in a way like I have two families right now. One made up of myself, G3, G4, and Amanda, and the other myself and Alex. I am the only bridge between the two and it can be draining at times. I want us all to feel like one cohesive unit but until the language barriers, culture shock, and other things settle down, I don't see it happening. This isn't necessarily a bad thing though. I think the time that Alex takes alone, is good for the rest of us to keep connected and in touch with each other. I have very ambivalent feelings about this. On one hand, I want us all to be together, but on the other, I don't want to change the way things were and potentially have the rest of the family feel slighted with the attention Alex is taking away from them.
Right now though, the time he takes is not really cutting into anyone else's time, but my own. I am flitting back and forth between people, making sure everyone's needs are met. I know that I am just being impatient and that integration will occur with time, but it sure is hard to wait it out.
I was talking to Becky the other day and she gave me a flash of insight. She rightly pointed out that Alex probably needs a physically demonstrative sign of integration into the family. So, I went out today and bought another little boy sticker to add to the family stickers on the back of my car. G3 had pointed out that we needed to do this, but I just have been too busy. So, we will have a big ceremony tonight to put it on the back of the car. I hope that by starting to do more things like this, we will help Alex realize what he means to us and what it means to be in a family.
The other thing I need to work on is building bridges with G4 and Amanda. They are both so driven and on a master plan for their lives, that they have very little time of tolerance of others. Amanda and Alex are closer, since she spent time in Ukraine, but still are not as close as I would like to see. I have to come up with ideas of things they can do together that can help them bond closer. So please, send me your ideas.
Otherwise, things still are going well overall. We have had very few problems in the grand scheme of problems and Alex and I have such good open communication and understanding of each other that I feel really stable and good about the way things are progressing. He barked something at me this morning (he demanded breakfast) and when I brought it down, I just gave him the plate and walked off - which is highly unusual. Usually I would sit with him while he ate and make sure he was ok and touch him on his shoulder or kiss him. Instead of saying anything about the imperious tone he took with me, I opted to give him what he had demanded just to let him know that he would be taken care of no matter what. However, I didn't follow it up with the usual niceties, subtly saying to him - you no give, you no get! He knew something was up and called as I walked away, "Mom, MOM!" I turned around and before I could say anything, he launched himself into my arms and kissed me saying, "Thank you, I love you." He knew I wasn't happy about how he had acted, and was offering up his form of apology. He knows me as well as I know him, and that is helping where communication is lacking!
Hope everyone is enjoying their summer fun!
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